Thirsty

I feel like I’m in a dry and thirsty place right now. So, naturally I was drawn to this psalm.

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.

Psalms 63:1-8 NLT

My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Those were the words that drew me in. Word for word they match my current state of emotion.

I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. I resonated with those words too. There had been a time when I could feel God working in my life in a special way.

I earnestly search for you. Those were the words that intrigued me. David was lost and dry, but he wasn't going to sit there and die. He was going search until he found that living water — that rich feast.

I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. That seemed to be the key —saturating myself in God until my mind exploded with Him. That’s what would find that place, that sanctuary where I could see His glory. Yet, if I found that sanctuary, I imagine, that it would be all I could think about. All those blessings and all that goodness would certainly keep up at night. What a happy vicious cycle.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast. Hmmm. Yum. Those words made me salivate. They also made me wonder. When I come away from spiritual encounters hungry, is it because I do not eat enough?

Somehow, I wondered to another psalm.

What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord , who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings. They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

Psalms 84:5-7 NLT

I reveled in those promises. This dry season would end. There will be rain. There will be water. I must just press on. Are those storm clouds I see?

Epilogue: I wrote this a week ago. The storm clouds did roll in. The rain did fall. I found the refreshing spring. I woke up one morning and heard God speaking. It was a rebuke, but it was so good to hear him speak. I immediately wondered what I had done. Then I caught myself. It is only by His grace.

The powers of darkness gather about the soul and shut Jesus from our sight, and at times we can only wait in sorrow and amazement until the cloud passes over. These seasons are sometimes terrible. Hope seems to fail, and despair seizes upon us. In these dreadful hours we must learn to trust, to depend solely upon the merits of the atonement, and in all our helpless unworthiness cast ourselves upon the merits of the crucified and risen Saviour. We shall never perish while we do this—never!  But to wait patiently in hope when clouds envelop us and all is dark, requires faith and submission which causes our will to be swallowed up in the will of God. We are too quickly discouraged, and earnestly cry for the trial to be removed from us, when we should plead for patience to endure and grace to overcome. 1T 309.2